Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Feeling Low

I don't know why, but I have not been feeling too good emotionally and mentally for a while now.
I know that Mum's illness has taken a toll, what with my guilt trip about being so far away and leaving it all to my brother to handle. BUT there is something more that I can't put my finger on.

Despite all my personal activities, my tough work schedule, my home interests etc. I feel that I am still searching for something. I know I have some recent some emotional relationship baggage that I do not want to share here just yet that is with me most days, but I do not think it is so strong as to give me the down feelings that I currently have.
Maybe my work situation which is somewhat tenuous at the moment is playing a part.
Maybe as I get closer to retirement I am scared of what that might mean. I really cannot envisage a life without work and its associated networking and friendships to say nothing of the buzz that daily problems to solve give me.
Maybe it is coming out of winter into a new spring that is causing me to seek out my true desired direction in life.

This is the first post I have made at this sort of level of introversion. I do hope that it is not going to become a regular occurrence.
Thanks for bearing with me while I get this off my chest. Maybe it will help


AntiSocialWatch said...

Hey, you unload all you want...........but stop the guilt trip........Live your life, not someone elses idea of how it should be...........and when its time for you to stop working, you can build a social network outside of a work environment :o)

Anonymous said...

i think this is one of the reasons blogs exist...to share such things in an environment of support. keep talking and reaching out...we are listening.

and perhaps these feelings are a prelude to some great changes in your life. what would you like to see happen?

Cynnie said...

awww..Its okay..everything is going to be okay..

I love you..you sweet thoughtful man.

shellz said...

I think that sometimes when we feel low, we try to "think" our way out of it, and when we use the MIND to try to solve an emotional/spiritual crisis, all that analysis just confuses us and makes us feel worse.

The thing is that we are human, and it is normal and natural to just FEEL whatever we feel. True, it may be an internal nudging to search and seek in another direction, but feeling low is not BAD, or WORSE than feeling good. Emotions and feelings are not good or bad, they are just REAL. Just be with how you feel, don't place a value judgement on it, go within, be still, truly ask your heart, what is it I am searching for?, then really let go of expectation about how and when. The answer will come to you when the time is right. And you will know it when it does.

Liz said...

Hey, that's what it's/we're here for! We've all done it - and it makes us stronger I think.

Little things completely unconnected can combine to pull us down and there's nothing we can do about it.

Except maybe eat chocolate.